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As I've gotten older I have discovered one thing about myself that I have continued to struggle with. I need people around me to motivate myself. I don't self motivate very well.

With that in mind I have begun to reach out again to talent agencies and friends to find auditions, places I can take lessons, and people would just generally help to keep me on track. Today I did something I have always been uncomfortable with. I took some (very armature) photos of myself in order to self submit to a couple of talent agencies.

I even took them in a sleeveless undershirt. All I can see here though is that I am NOT a photographer (especially when I am myself the subject). but on top of my lack of knowledge shooting, I also have a lack of knowledge in front of the camera.

This is a scary realization. Especially since (and I know I haven't really said this to anyone) I have been watching lots of videos telling me how to take better photos. I've also been experimenting, and I took this photo with a new light that I bought specifically for photography. All I can see is that I don't have the correct mount for that light. The light isn't placed in a flattering place, and with the setup I have I don't think I can move where my light is set. I don't know Photoshop. Nothing is right. why am I even trying??

But what I have to keep in mind is that nothing is ever right the first time you do it. It's rarely right the second, or third, or 10th time. If you want to put yourself out there you have to be ok with with putting out some crap, because if you are afraid to do that then you'll never get to the point where you're putting out masterpieces.

I'm not saying I'm going into photography, but I do know that the more I know about the whole medium, the more I can anticipate what I need to do as an actor. And if I ever want to put out another Theatre Customs episode I have to know the basics of photography. Also know that its going to be poo poo p-choo. And that's ok. Because maybe my next one will be fantastic.

So until then! One foot in front of the other!

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