For a while I thought that I could be happy cutting my theatrical endeavors down to one show a year. I thought I could work a normal job and only act as a hobby. During that time I managed a restaurant, and I actually had fun. I enjoyed my coworkers, the environment, and the work itself, but by the end of year two I found myself profoundly unhappy. Once I was promoted to management I realized it would be hard to step down to do something so unrealistic as acting. So I found a job as a box office and rentals manager, but I couldn't support my acting addiction with that work alone.
I became a part time manager at the restaurant to cover the my financial needs. Over the course of the next year I slowly cut back my time there so that I could work longer hours acting, and by late 2017 I was working on my 5th production in a row, and auditioning for multiple movies a year. I was living my dream, but the more time I spent acting, the less money I found I was making. I thought about going equity, moving to LA, and running my own theatre or acting class company, but I wasn't happy with any of my options. It seems like my acting addiction was bleeding me dry!
So by the time February rolled around I had
rethought my life.
What can I not live without?
What goal do I have to reach to be happy?
What steps do I have to take to get there?
When I was a kid I wanted to be a Broadway star. I thought that I couldn't be happy if I wasn't successful on the Great White Way. Now I realize that what I really want is to effect people. It doesn't matter if that is on a large scale or a small one. My underlying desire is to effect the way someone sees the world (hopefully change for the better).
The most important thing that I've had to figure out is what actually makes me happy. You may have the same issue. It's easy to settle; to say, "This is good enough". And I think that I personally fall into that trap because I don't know what my ideal is. I only know that I want something else; something more.
So I have started to think of it as an addiction. It's an itch that I need to scratch. The only difference between this addiction and my other, less favorable addictions is that I want to keep this addiction going strong! But that's work.
Anyways, I don't know if I am someone who is in any position to preach this, but I'll say it anyways. Never give up! Never surrender!
Or as a friend used to tell me CONSTANTLY, "You do you... You do YOU!"
Thank you for being so supportive by making it all the way through this post! If you enjoy what you have been reading please don't forget to like, share, and subscribe in order to stay up to date with future content. You can also keep the conversation going by leaving a comment below. I would love to discus any of my topics further or talk about what I have going on next. Until next week!