I have never been a fan of auditions, even though I've been in at least one production a year since I was in kindergarten. The bug got me early! And though I love the rehearsal process, getting to understand my character, getting to know new people, and performing in front of audiences, I have always dreaded auditions.
Right now it's audition season for me. Let me tell you a little bit about general auditions. A company will announce their full season; usually 6-8 productions that they intend to stage that year. Then they ask hundreds of actors to come for 5-10 minute slots and the actors are supposed to audition for the entire roster with one song and one monologue, somehow proving their worth in 3 minutes of work. At this point the actor is dismissed and wont know if they made any kind of good impression until they are called back (or aren't) for each show as it comes.
I am not a fan of this kind of audition. On one hand I completely understand. On the other, every time I walk out of a general audition I feel like I have failed somehow. Especially when I have to wait months to find out if I did anything right. Did they like me? Did I stand out at all? Will they call me back for anything? I'll take anything!
Then, months later I find out that I didn't fail. I got a callback. I have to sing a one minute section of one of my character's song. If I do that well they ask me to stay. Otherwise its, "thank you, we'll be in touch". Then a director will pick short scenes from the script and have me read them with other actors. I stumble over lines that I tried to memorize in the ten minutes that I've had them. Then they send everyone home.... and I wait again...
And I write a blog.
And then I hear back about whether or not they are going to cast me.
So here I sit on the verge of 4 auditions. They don't leave me shaking anymore. I understand what is happening, and I've been on both sides of the casting process so I really understand that there are no hard feelings. I'm still not a fan, but I might say that I'm numb to the process now. I used to just about shut down in some kind of panic attack.
Every audition I have to remind myself of some advice I got 9 years ago from a choreographer that I didn't know at the time. He would later become a good friend. We were on a five minute break. I was pacing outside going over every mistake that I was making and trying to figure out what I could do better. He was just jogging out of the theatre in order to get a cigarette in before the break ended, when he stopped. He turned around and walked back over to me.
"Don't apologize. I see you apologizing for every mistake. You are better than you think. Just.... GO FOR IT!!"
Patreon is a website for artists who need a little extra financial help in order to produce their product. On top of this blog, I want to start an interview series in order to give a more well rounded idea of what being a performing artist is like. I want to make the leap to short videos, as well as delve into sketch comedy and satire. And in order to grow my passion into a real business I need help; I simply could not do this without you. Thank you so much for being a fan of my work and considering joining me on this adventure!